"Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! [etc., greets each individual slime over the course of ten minutes]
You're all looking very congealed today!
The humidity's perfect for this year's Human Beauty Pageant!
We've got teams AND singles signed up to show us some rigid anatomy.
Contestants will be judged on versimilitude and use of the Sixteen Aspects*!
Without further ado... Let's bring on the girls!"
* Hue, Saturation, Value, Repetition, Motif, Scale, Polarity, Orientation, Density, Contrast, Gradient, Motif, Laterality, Sheen, Opacity, Iridescence
Further Ado
The common Utrolige slime is often found with two eyes and a mouth.
The "eyes" (palpebra) are like hardboiled eggs, and can be grown in a day and ejected to distract predators.*
The "mouths" are not organs at all. That's just undigestable string!
Twist-ties, bobby pins, bookmarks, coat-hangers --
parchment-scraps, pipe cleaners, ribbons, twigs, and springs.
Slimes wear them under their eyes to emote with.
You'll find no shortage of slimes inclined to forego the common bodyplan.
* Slime eyes are scrumptious, but the name is gross, so they call them euphemisms like "murmeln" and "peeper yams".
The foodie term is "bille blanche".
During Halloween, people dye them orange, red, purple, green, and go back to calling them slime eyes for a bit.
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