In a rowdy bar of the Goblintown District,
under the banner of thief-city Murderhole,
extending from the rocks of East Wyvernax,
upon Catarrh, highest plain of Lowslaga...

Xargoth! Hoozat wench y'henched for?

Hmph! Promessa! Wouldn't break bones -- just paw skin!
They say they locked her up in Whiteopal Reform. Serves her right.
Thus always to wimpy tyrants. Ha ha ha

Yeah... Yeah...
Hey, you looked at the regional Dark Lord rankings?
Nay, I stopped paying attention to that sh--UHHHHH

FIRST EVER WHITEOPAL BREAKOUT!!!
DARK EMPRESS PROMESSA SOARS TO #1

Her preference for nonlethal methods provide unusual opportunities for overlooked minions!
Scholars love her inspired reuse of kooky but effective punishments from history,
including the well-studied but rarely-employed treatise Royal Tortures of Fairyland,
of which our rising star most preferentially employs the third...
With over 60% of the nation's subregions firmly in favor of her merciless dominance,
things are looking bright for Promessa --
not to mention anyone who was betting on her to bounce back from her little slip-up!!

Where ya headed Xarg?
I'm going on a long walk into the wilderness. I need to find myself.

THE END